Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

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David Ben
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Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby David Ben » November 23rd, 2009, 9:00 am

Please note that Magicana and Mark Lewis have agreed to part ways with respect to Magicana publishing his memoirs. We wish Mark every good wish in bringing his story to market.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 23rd, 2009, 9:50 am

We have made an amicable parting. David is terribly busy on other projects and it is hard for him to focus his energies properly on all the other things that he has to deal with and promote my book at the same time.

Besides I will make far more money if I don't have to share the profits. I am a grafter after all.

But never fear. It just means that the book will come out far more quickly. And of course I can be far more libellous concerning my enemies if I choose to do so.

And another advantage is that I can post little extracts from time to time on the Genii Forum which David doesn't like me to do.

I do thank David for the title and for being the catalyst for writing the book in the first place. If it weren't for him I would never have finished it.

I have known David for decades and thank him for putting up with me for such a long time. I expect he will be embarrased to be even associated with the evil Mark Lewis but the facts are the facts. He was unfortunate enough to work for me in the early days but he has come through it relatively unscathed.

Anyway the book is going to become a best seller in the world of magic. I am a psychic and know these things. And now I can assure you all that it is going to come out sooner than it might have done. Wait for it and watch this space. It won't take that long.

Now does anyone wish to see an excerpt or two? You had better say yes because I going to post them anyway even if you don't.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 23rd, 2009, 6:49 pm

I promised to show you an excerpt whether you liked it or not and here it is. A word of explanation first. I had done an audition at the club in question and because I was crap at the time an experienced polished professional acrobat had been booked instead of me at the same audition but a week later they fired the acrobat and replaced him with me instead and I couldn't figure out why especially since I died a death every night at the club in question. Mr Musthapha was the club owner.
................................................................

I did not see Mr Mustapha all week in the club which was in some ways a relief since he wouldnt witness my act flopping every night. However one day I went to the washroom and suddenly became aware of a small Turkish man using the next urinal. I quickly realised this was Mr Mustapha. He recognized me and said. How are you? I said Fine. Thanks for the booking. He responded, You are welcome. I want you to work for another month. Can you do this?

I agreed in a flash. From being booked for one week I had now had my engagement extended for a whole month. As a matter of fact the month eventually stretched into several more months.

I must say however that this is the only time in my career I have ever been booked while urinating in a public washroom. I wonder if this event is of great historical significance.

One thing did puzzle me though. I wondered what had happened to the Polish acrobat who was no longer to be seen. I reasoned quite accurately as it turned out, that he had been replaced by me but I couldnt figure out why since he was obviously a sizzling professional act whereas I was simply an incompetent card magician who couldnt handle drunks and died a death every night.

However after making some enquiries I found out what had happened. It seemed that the gentleman from Poland used to get highly irritated when the waiters would cross the floor to serve customers and to do so would have to cross the performing area. He felt no doubt quite rightly that it interfered with his act. He remonstrated with them and with Mr Mustapha but to no avail. One night he was fuming mad and threatened the waiters thus, If you dare to cross the floor again while I am performing you will pay for it

Of course the waiters simply did what they always did and that was to cross the floor. This time the acrobat lost his temper and ejected his wife from his shoulders into a wandering waiter who went sprawling over the night club floor and the tray of food and drinks went sprawling with him. There were then great screams of Turkish from the waiter and Polish from the acrobat followed by punches and mayhem. I am quite sure the audience were more entertained by this than any of the acts that were performing that night.

As a result of the uproar the acrobat was deemed to be surplus to requirements and was given the boot. They were then short of an act and the result was that I was given the job and the start of a showbusiness career which has lasted to this day along with my other various shenanigans. My act was somewhat on the mediocre side but at least I never sent any of the waiters sprawling.

.................................................................
There. That is one excerpt from the book. YOu will be relieved to hear that I am not going to post any more unless anyone asks me to.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Edward » November 23rd, 2009, 11:32 pm

I would love to read more of your excerpts.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 24th, 2009, 6:06 am

Thanks. I shall, however require two more requests before I do. It is my own odd way of researching the market.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby David Scollnik » November 24th, 2009, 2:04 pm

I'm also enjoying the stories.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 24th, 2009, 2:11 pm

Two down. One to go.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Magic Randy » November 24th, 2009, 2:33 pm

I too would like another story.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 24th, 2009, 2:49 pm

Then you shall have it. This involves Michael Vine who is now a hot shot in British showbusiness and the manager of Derren Brown and other celebrities. He could have made me a star but instead he made me a bloody waiter. The reference to Prince Phillip should be taken in the context that I had once shown him a card trick and that had previously been mentioned in the book
.................................................................
At one point I was out of work and desperately needed a job since I was running out of money. I phoned up a friend of mind named Michael Vishnick who later became Michael Vine a noted theatrical agent and television producer. There will be more about Michael later on in this book. Michael at that time had a very odd sense of humour. Come to think of it he still has. It is a great wonder to me that he hasnt been locked up over it!

I told him that I was out of work and he said, That is no problem. You can have my job. I am leaving tomorrow and they need a replacement. Ill give them your name. Just mention me and they will hire you

I asked him what job he was leaving and he said. I am a waiter This amazed me because I had no idea that he was a waiter since he had never mentioned it to me before. However I had no reason to doubt him especially when he gave me a phone number to ring and the name of a person in charge of hiring staff.

The next day I phoned the number and asked for the person in question. When he came to the phone I told him that a Mr Michael Vishnick had asked to me to call regarding a job as a waiter. I gave him my name as Michael had instructed me to. I was informed however that they had never heard of either Michael Vishnick nor me. I spluttered something to the effect that Michael was a waiter who had just left his job and had recommended me. The fellow responded that they did indeed need a waiter but they had no idea who Michael Vishnick was. However he did invite me in for an interview and lo and behold I got the job.

I had no idea that Michael had never worked as a waiter in his life and that his whole story was fictitious! When I asked for the phone number of his employer he simply grabbed a newspaper that happened to be open at the advertising section. There were several advertisements among the classified ads looking for waiters and he just picked any phone number at random! The contact name he gave me was the one in the advertisement! It was a daft deception but it worked out in the sense that I actually got a job because of it.

The job was at St Jamess Club in the heart of London. It was a terribly posh place full of dukes and lords. I had heard that the Duke of Edinburgh visited but I never saw him there. If I had I suppose I would have shown him another trick and tried again to have tea at Buckingham Palace.

I was probably the worst waiter in recorded history. The head waiter who was a grumpy old Frenchman was always telling me that some lord or other had complained about me for some reason or other. One complained that I had hitched up my trousers in his presence. The trousers were supplied by the club as part of a waiters uniform and were not a very good fit hence the frequent hitching up. Another noble lord had complained that I was humming a tune as I served him. Tune humming when serving noble lords were verboten it seemed.

One day one of the seated gentry called me over and in an irritated manner exclaimed, Waiter, this coffee is too strong. Pour me some milk I did but I am afraid he picked the wrong person for such a request since he got a little more milk than he bargained for. He now protested that the coffee was too weak. I resisted the urge to tell him to make his own bloody coffee and went to get him a fresh cup that I laid before him in all its somewhat dilapidated glory. He then called me over with a strange complaint. Waiter. This coffee is moving within itself. I asked what he meant and he responded, As I say it is moving within itself. You know-like detergent After a pause he remarked, Yes, and it tastes like detergent too!

After a few weeks of this the excitement of being a waiter was beginning to wear off and I was starting to curse Michael Vishnick for scamming me into this awful job for which I was clearly not suited. Then one day I passed a room where all the members played bridge. The door was wide open and the room was empty. However I saw all the green baize card tables and my urge to do card tricks there became very strong. I decided to see if the club management would approve of the idea of me entertaining the members with card tricks in the bridge room.

I approached the manager of the club who was quite horrified at the suggestion. I swear his face went white and he looked quite shaken at the very idea. He stared at me with a fearful look in his eye as if he had been confronted by a raving maniac.

After he had somewhat recovered he almost shouted at me, Card tricks! Card tricks! Are you raving mad? This is a gentlemans club! The members would have a heart attack! Some of them are very old, you know

Actually I thought that he was the one going to have the heart attack and I told him that I was quite sure the members would love some entertainment of this kind. He retorted, I believe you are originally from Glasgow, arent you? I answered in the affirmative whereupon he retorted, Perhaps you should go back there. Scottish people like yourself seem to have no conception of how an English gentlemans club operates. I rather think you should seek alternative employment preferably back in Glasgow

And so ended my career as a waiter. I didnt go back to Glasgow which of course is very fortunate for Glasgow.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 24th, 2009, 2:51 pm

Good God! That was a long one! I didn't realise that it would take up so much space. That should keep you all occupied for a while. The next time anyone wants an excerpt it will have to be 6 requests instead of three. The last one was almost a small book in itself.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby mrgoat » November 24th, 2009, 3:01 pm

1

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Christopher Lyle » November 24th, 2009, 3:21 pm

Don't know if it's still there or not, but I had a blast performing at The Jedi Club in Glasgow back in 2001. I wanted to get a taste of "the good life" so I did a European stint for about a month or so.

Good times...

Christopher
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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 24th, 2009, 4:01 pm

Christopher. I object most strongly to you visiting the place of my birth. I am not sure that I will ever return now that you have mentioned that.

But that is not a request to read more of my memoirs. That is merely bragging about yourself when I am here to brag about myself. Any minute now Roger will come along and show a video clip of himself in a green dress doing a children's show. I am afraid you are in danger of starting an unfortunate trend.

I shall forgive you, however if you add your name to the list that the goat personage has started. Of course he is number one. I bet you hate to be number two in anything.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby mormonyoyoman » November 24th, 2009, 8:34 pm

Reckon I'll make the second request, Mr Mark.

And I wonder if I should start a roster of requests for Roger in a green dress?

*jeep!
--Grandpa

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 24th, 2009, 8:49 pm

mormonyoyoman wrote:And I wonder if I should start a roster of requests for Roger in a green dress?

*jeep!
--Grandpa


Oh God! Please don't!

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Kent Gunn » November 24th, 2009, 9:20 pm

Grand stories, simply grand. You've the pen of a conman. I'll add to the list of requests.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 24th, 2009, 9:37 pm

Three down. Three to go. And Kent. I know nothing whatever about marketing. So I am afraid the conman approach will have to do. It is all I have ever known. So far it seems to be working.

The above extracts show me when I was young and innocent. I might put a more wicked extract next. We shall see.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby John M. Dale » November 25th, 2009, 1:18 am

4

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 25th, 2009, 5:59 am

Four down. Two to go.
And what do you think of the book so far from the little excerpts? Market research you know. I have to figure out how many to have printed.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Edward » November 25th, 2009, 6:38 pm

I like this. It appears to be a quite entertaining read.

Thanks for the excerpts.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 25th, 2009, 7:05 pm

Thank you kindly. I must say you have astute judgement. Mind you I have just been speaking on the phone to a certain woman in Las Vegas who is quite horrified at the way I am going about things. She hasn't even read the bloody book yet and is complaining about it. Still in the past I have always done the exact opposite of what she advises and it always works out well.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 26th, 2009, 9:06 pm

I still require two requests before I post a final excerpt. However I shall make the requirements a little easier. Instead of two requests two reviews of the above excerpts will do. And the same people who have made requests already are allowed to comment again.

This is what pitchmen/grafters call a "rehash". As Kent astutely remarked "the pen of a conman".

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby John M. Dale » November 26th, 2009, 10:25 pm

Ok, Reverend, I'll bite. I found your two excerpts to be entertaining and well-written with your usual irreverent wit (which seems somehow ironic coming from a Reverend, but I digress). Some might find your style to be long-winded but as a long-winded type myself (talking that is, not in the the printed word - I'm slow on the keyboard) I find the details to be fascinating.

JMD

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 27th, 2009, 7:10 am

I am indeed long winded. It makes it easier to fill up the book. Actually if I put everything about me in the book it would be as large as the Encyclopedia Britannia. It is just as well the book is a memoir rather than an autobiography otherwise I would still be writing it.

As for my irreverence I am a psychic reverend and we are supposed to be irreverent.

Talking about psychic matters I think I am going to post next a psychic excerpt. I am however going to alter the rules somewhat.
Instead of requiring two reviews of which John has provided one I am only going to require one. In other words I am going to post an excerpt straight away in my next post.

And then after one more review I shall post a final one.

I know that I said I was only going to post one more excerpt but you should never believe a word a grafter says. Besides I want to post one excerpt about my psychic adventures and one about my grafting adventures

So the next post will describe a psychic adventure. Then I shall require only one more comment and then I will post a svengali deck adventure.

And then that WILL be it.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 27th, 2009, 7:31 am

I have decided not to post a psychic adventure after all. I have come across a svengali adventure which has nothing to do with the svengali deck at all. It involves the nasty situation in Northern Ireland where various members of the populace were trying to kill each other at the time and in many cases succeeded. When writing my book I couldn't believe how much of it was devoted to the "troubles" in Northern Ireland but it was just the way the book developed. I just happened to be there at the time.

This excerpt details the time when a riot was ensuing late at night in the streets outside the exhibition venue. I remember a man was killed that night. Anyway here it is.
..........................................................

This night there was a hell of a lot more people than usual walking up the hill and it was obvious that something was going on. This was confirmed to me by the promoter of the Derry exhibition whom I noticed in the street. He greeted me with, Hello, magic man. Make sure you dont get killed walking up there. I want to see you at the show tomorrow!

Of course curiosity and the need to get home compelled me to walk up the hill regardless. I asked various people what was going on and they informed me that there was a raging riot going on at the top of the hill where the Diamond was located. I was told that petrol bombs and bricks were being thrown and I had better be careful.

Suddenly I noticed beside me a young boy who could not have been more than 12 years old. I recognised him as one of the kids who hung around the exhibition doing odd jobs for the various exhibitors. He was carrying a bottle that he had filled up with petrol. I asked him what he was going to do with it which was rather a daft question now that I think about it. He replied, I am going to throw it and kill some proddies (Protestants).

I decided to reprimand the urchin and did so by informing him that I considered such actions to be socially unacceptable and a mite dangerous. He didnt seem convinced by my argument and seemed irritated that I wanted to spoil his fun.

I argued back saying, How would you like it if someone threw something like that and it set your mother on fire? He answered, It depends on who started it. And the proddies started it.

He then looked at me aggressively with some suspicion. Are you a Catholic or a Protestant? he enquired. I answered, Neither. I am Jewish whereupon he responded, Yes, but are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew? I was a trifle bemused by this but nevertheless I replied, Neither. I am a Jewish Jew. Not everyone is a Catholic or a Protestant, you know.

The little mini terrorist stared at me and came back with a devastating reply that still sticks in my mind to this day.
Well, you go and fight for Jerusalem. I am going to fight for free Derry!

No doubt the little monster went on to join the I.R.A. or did time in prison. Either that or he became a cabinet minister in the present government of Northern Ireland.

When I got to the top of the hill I was confronted by massive crowds of people in the Diamond throwing stones and petrol bombs at each other so I decided that discretion was the better part of valour so I headed back down the hill again.
.................................................................
I require one more comment and then there will be one more excerpt and then after there will REALLY be no more. I can sense raised eyebrows at my unusual way of marketing. I don't know anything about "marketing" but then I don't have to. Grafters never do. We get the money anyway.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 27th, 2009, 7:44 am

With regard to the urchin's remark about "free Derry" this appertains to the city of Derry in Northern Ireland. If you are a Catholic you call the place Derry. If you are Protestant then you call the place Londonderry which is the official name. You can get killed saying the wrong name to the wrong people. Some segments of the Ulster population can be a trifle difficult at times.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Jolly Roger » November 27th, 2009, 3:41 pm

I am sorry to hear of you and David parting company, but I am sure ultimately it may be the best for both parties.

As far as the editing goes, I am curious as to whether you are going back to the original manuscript you sent to David, or whether you are incororating all his edits. My book, www.SpiritualStage.com is complete, but is now in the process of being edited by my wife and daughter. I would also like to know how many times I am mentioned in the book, and if you would like me to submit any pictures?

I think that the passages of the book I have read sofar are brilliant, and I have no doubt it will be a best seller. Would you like me to write the introduction? JR
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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Jolly Roger » November 27th, 2009, 7:30 pm

That story of Michael Vine was typical Michael. I once worked in the magic department at Hamleys alongside Michael, when I recall an American tourist coming up to the counter and saying he wanted to purchase a Welsh flag. Michael produced a plain white magician's silk from under the counter, and managed to persuade the poor man that it was the Welsh flag. He bought it hook, line and sinker. Mark and Michael are both similar in many ways, as they are both experts at the classic British wind-up, which is so often not understood this side of the pond. I am hoping the Americans will understand all the humour in Mark's excellent ramblings. JR
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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 27th, 2009, 10:24 pm

I knew Roger would bring his own bloody book into it.

Michael was and still is as mad as a hatter. Nevertheless his knowledge of showbusiness is encyclopedic. And I can never figure out how to spell the last word of the previous sentence. It is no good asking Roger because he is more even useless at spelling than I.

And yes Roger I would be honoured if you would do the introduction. After all you have known me longer than anyone on this site.

I think I am going to ask Paul Pacific to do the illustrations for the little bonus book I mentioned on the "Opinion" thread. The prospect of nagging him to do it horrifies me somewhat since it will delay the book by several years. He did the pictures for my most wondrous "Marmaduke the Wonder Mouse" book but it was a nightmare getting him to do it. This might be easier since I doubt if there will be many illustrations at all.

As for the editing I will be using my original manuscript but over the next couple of weeks will be going over it with a fine toothcomb and make my own judgements over the matter. I have already seen little areas in the preceding excerpts that require very minor changes.

Roger. You are mentioned once in the book and that is more than enough especially if you do the introduction. And when you do the introduction you will not be allowed to mention either your own book or how good your ravioli products are.

As for the humour the later chapters are not funny at all. Very sad in fact. I am not sure I want them in there if the book is just for the magic community. Somehow it lessens the pain if they are out in the wider world. That is why I have to get the book out to the public somehow. Otherwise I will be tempted to take the bloody chapters out even though they are very powerful. There will certainly be no excerpts from them on the Genii Forum.

The book will certainly be a best seller to somebody or other. I just know it my bones.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Jolly Roger » November 27th, 2009, 11:26 pm

Mark.Lewis wrote:I knew Roger would bring his own bloody book into it.

Michael was and still is as mad as a hatter. Nevertheless his knowledge of showbusiness is encyclopedic. And I can never figure out how to spell the last word of the previous sentence. It is no good asking Roger because he is more even useless at spelling than I.

And yes Roger I would be honoured if you would do the introduction. After all you have known me longer than anyone on this site.





Thank you Ronnie. I am the one who is honoured...and I promise to mention nothing about my own book or Ridiculous Ravioli!

I will admit to being a poor speller. However, on a gramatical note, I believe it should read: "He is even more useless at spelling than I" rather than: "He is more even useless than spelling than I." JR
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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 27th, 2009, 11:36 pm

Roger. That wasn't bad grammar. That was senility. I think I had better finish this book up before it sets in too permanently.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 28th, 2009, 7:50 am

I am going to count Roger's contribution to this thread as a comment on the book and therefore I am going to post one last excerpt. If I post any more then there will be no need for any of you to buy the bloody book. This is an excerpt from the psychic world. Many years ago I booked into a small psychic fair which was supposed to take place in the upstairs room of a pub in Dundalk, Ireland. The problem was that all the English psychics that were there got fed up with Holy Ireland because of the lack of co-operation they were getting from newspapers and hotel room rentals. It seems the influence of the Catholic Church in Ireland didn't extend approval to psychics. The last straw was when the psychics had all their belongings stolen in Holy Ireland which isn't nearly as holy as the populace like to think it is. The newspaper reported the incident and the fact that the psychics had left the country because of it. Naturally the psychics were ridiculed mercilessly.

Anyway when I turned up at the psychic fair I was the only psychic there. Since the room and the advertising had already been taken care of I just set up and made a bonanza of money. However I came up against a snag. A whole bunch of fundamentalist Christians picketed the pub and tried to spoil things. This is how I handled it.
................................................................
However one of the clients told me that outside there were Christian picketers with placards telling people not to go in to the pub because it was full of evil psychic people. The pub landlord was concerned about this and went out and tried to get them to go away but since they were full of a divine mission they took no notice of him and quite rightly informed him that they were within their legal rights. I told him that I would deal with the matter so I went outside and made friends with the picketers but neglected to tell them that I was one of the people they were picketing against. Actually the only one they were picketing against but they hadnt read the papers and didnt know that.

I told them that I was also a Christian and I also didnt approve of the wicked goings on inside and had intended to join their protest. They were very welcoming to me and quite elated when I gave them some good news. I told them, I have a happy announcement to make. Have you read the newspaper yet? I then told them that the psychics had their van broken into and all their tools of evil stolen. I also told them that I had been in to the pub and found out that the fair had been cancelled. I showed them my copy of the newspaper with the story of the psychics whereupon they looked mightily relieved and thanked me wholeheartedly for the good news and they informed me that God would bless me and that Jesus would always love me. I told them that I was quite sure that God would also bless them and that I knew perfectly well that Jesus loved everybody. I bade them good day and was greatly amused to see them pack up and leave. Once they were out of sight I went back to work and cleaned up. I made a ton of money and had to work until midnight. I suppose you could say that this was proof that Jesus did indeed love me. Of course some people might see this a little differently.
..................................................................
There. That should automatically stop all the holy Christian people on this forum from buying the book. I never was much good at marketing.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Jolly Roger » November 28th, 2009, 6:34 pm

I would be interested to know how many words and how many chapters are in the book. Are you able to make that information public? Also, it would interesting to know a projected date that it will now be published. Will it be available commercially through Amazon, Borders and other outlets? Will it be soft cover or hard-back? Who is your target audience...magicians, Muggles, or other showmen? Just curious.

I am enjoying reading the exerpts enormously, and I do hope you will post some more shortly. JR
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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 28th, 2009, 9:49 pm

Roger. I will not be posting any more unless some holy Christian people here rise up in great protest against the last excerpt. If they show enough annoyance I will post another excerpt where the fundamentalists got the better of the psychics. So that will make them feel better and will balance out the victory that I achieved over them in Ireland.

As for your questions let me try and answer them. There did seem to be a divergence of opinion between me and David Ben as to how many words there were in the book. He said one thing and I said another. Since I don't understand computers he was probably right. I shall have another look on that word count thing and add them all up and when I do I shall post them here.

There will be 14 chapters. The last one will be very small and more in the nature of a summing up.

As for the date of publication it is hard to give a projected date since I have been told that it always takes longer than the projection. I estimate by the end of February but that probably means that it will be May by the time it comes out. Mind you it was supposed to come out last May and it didn't so you never know.

It will indeed be available through Amazon and other outlets. And no. I will not be using silly things like Lulu. I am MARK LEWIS and have my own wicked methods of self publishing that mere mortals know nothing about since they are not devious grafters like myself. Besides the name Lulu sounds a bit Lulu and gives me the creeps.

It will be a hard backed book since I have been advised by a sharp magic shopkeeper that I will get more money if I do this and will sell more. He also advised me to put in a little book for the magicians and make sure it is a separate thing and not part of the main book. He thought that my inglorious life would be better dignified by a hard backed book as befits my status. He pointed out to me that Marshall Brodien's book which is a mere paperback does not sell very well. I call that poetic justice since Brodien made more money out of the svengali deck than me and all the other svengali pitchmen put together.

He also delighted me by telling me that Paul Gordon's books do not sell well at all but that of course is a matter for another time. I do reluctantly have to say that the Fred Robinson book sold well but that is no doubt because I am mentioned on page 22.

The book will be sold initially to magicians and other showmen. However it won't stay like that. After the magicians have done with it I shall then sell it to the public somehow or other. I can certainly sell a lot on my own at psychic fairs and as back of the room material when I do a show or seminar. And I can pitch them in bookstores in the same way I sell svengali decks in department stores. The difference is that I shall demonstrate the svengali deck in the bookshop and give away a free deck with every book sold. I know damn well that the punters will not want the book but in order to get the deck they will have to take the book whether they like it or not. The deck will not be sold on it's own.

We grafters are not dummies and know exactly what we are doing and should never be underestimated.

In the end however it has to go out to the public as it was written especially for them and not for magicians. I deliberately included appeals to a wider public market. The public are interested in pitchmen, psychics, magicians, showmen, the Kray twins and other criminal types that I came across, the troubles in Northern Ireland, Ireland itself, race relations and mental illness (not mine, I hasten to assure you!). There is an appeal to almost everyone. Most of the book will be happy and roguish but some of it will be sad although powerful.

This book should not be wasted on magicians only and I will make sure it won't be. For now though until I formulate my evil plans I will allow the magicians to get first dip at it. They will get the little bonus book but of course the public won't.

Various people I know are scoffing at me and are in great wonderment as to how I can afford such a venture. They do not realise that I can make great wads of money appear whenever I want to. I remember well arriving in Canada once with only $50 in my pocket. I had to bluff a hotel or two for a few days and get up to nefarious goings on to bring cash in as soon as possible. A few weeks later I left Toronto to go back to the UK with several thousands of dollars in my pocket in cash. I remember the stewardess on the plane nearly fainted when she saw how much money I had in my pocket when I had to pay for a drink.

No. Publishing a book of this magnitude is child's play in comparison.

Anyway I shall now go and investigate how many words are in the book and let you know.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 28th, 2009, 10:55 pm

Roger. In answer to your query there seems to be 107,627 words in the book and around 300 pages or so. It will be a substantial work.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Jolly Roger » November 29th, 2009, 1:44 am

Mark.Lewis wrote:Roger. In answer to your query there seems to be 107,627 words in the book and around 300 pages or so. It will be a substantial work.


Interesting. Thank you for the information. Your book is a little longer than mine, but not much. JR
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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 30th, 2009, 1:11 pm

Roger. I forgot to mention that when you do your introduction please bear in mind that the book is ultimately going to be on public sale. It is best not to make references to things that only magicians will understand and relate to.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Jolly Roger » November 30th, 2009, 2:24 pm

Mark.Lewis wrote:Roger. I forgot to mention that when you do your introduction please bear in mind that the book is ultimately going to be on public sale. It is best not to make references to things that only magicians will understand and relate to.


I know that! I think you will be quite pleased with what I am writing. Hopefully, it will not require any editing. JR
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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » November 30th, 2009, 3:06 pm

Jolly good. (no pun intended) With your piece and Mai's piece the book will have an extra flavour besides me and that will be all to the good. Regrettably however I rather suspect you will not get a scholarship out of it.

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Re: Mark Lewis' "Lives of a Showman" and Magicana

Postby Mark.Lewis » December 1st, 2009, 1:31 am

I have just received this from the rather awful James Munton whom I sent the book to in order to receive his very expensive marketing course which he hasn't even put together yet. My first review and the book hasn't even been printed yet!
.................................................................
I finished reading the whole thing this evening and I am pleased to say the book exceeded my earlier expectations. I think it is absolutely brilliant.

I have completely changed my mind about including Mai's piece. Having read the entire manuscript I agree that it is a very fitting way to end the book. I also thought there was something profoundly moving about the final sentence. I felt like I had come full-circle. You put a smile on the little boy's face. And it took me back to the beginning of the book and the description of a very different boy alone on a train from Glasgow to London.

On a commercial level, I think adding the svengali information and card routines would make this a HUGE seller to magicians. I don't know how you include it. Perhaps as an addendum. Two books in one. Lives of a Showman followed by Tricks of a Showman.

Thank you for sharing this with me, Mark. I think you have a wonderful gift of expressing yourself through the written word. At times, I really felt like I was in your shoes. The tales of your London club gigs made my palms sweat and I felt performance nerves until I reminded myself this was your experience and I didn't actually have to go on stage myself! And the final chapters were indeed dark and very moving. I actually think there is an entire second book in those chapters.


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