I love Darwin Ortiz' construction and handling of the Cannibal Cards routine ("Cannibal Holocaust") in his book, "Scams and Fantasies", but I would never use it with the standard patter. Any story line about cannibals eating missionaries (or Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, Hannibal Lector, etc., doing the same to other people) is really repulsive to me. (I know some of you will say, "Just lighten up", but that's just where I'm at -- and I hope a lot of you are, too.)
I want a "kinder and gentler", more light-hearted presentation for this routine. My only thought so far has been a story line about overly-hungry, "king-size" frogs who slurp up too many flies and who, in the end, spit them out (maybe because they see the error of their over-eating ways).
Any other patter suggestions along this line for the Cannibal Cards would be appreciated. Thanks!