Where are the Canadians?

Discuss the views of your favorite Genii columnists.

Postby Dustin Stinett » 08/19/03 09:25 PM

Where are the Canadians? Where is the outrage?!? It's one thing to have the vast majority of the teams in their National Game here in the USA, but quite another to have one of their few remaining teams referred to as--of all things--a football team!

Unless Edmonton decided to name a football team after its legendary hockey club, I'm pretty sure that David Acer's (pronounced "Acker") latest video "Open Traveller" (yes, double 'l') took place while on a road trip with the Edmonton Oilers of the National Hockey League (see Matt Field's review in the September Genii--pronounced "gee-nee"). Of course, I doubt Patrick LaForge has lost any sleep over the gaff. In Matt's defense, he does say he knows nothing about sports. That's okay, Matt: I got your back!

Dustin

PS: I do have a question for David Acer (pronounced "Acker"): What in the world is someone with a Montreal address doing travelling with a club other than Club de Hockey Canadien? I can only assume that no one else in Montreal realized it happened.
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Postby Steve V » 08/19/03 11:20 PM

What is a hockey?
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Postby Dustin Stinett » 08/19/03 11:53 PM

From what I've been told, that's what most San Jose Sharks fans ask.
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Postby Steve V » 08/20/03 07:43 AM

Very true......
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Postby David Acer » 08/20/03 07:51 PM

Originally posted by DustinStinett:
I do have a question for David Acer (pronounced "Acker"): What in the world is someone with a Montreal address doing travelling with a club other than Club de Hockey Canadien? I can only assume that no one else in Montreal realized it happened.
[sigh] I tried to keep the whole thing on the QT here in Montreal, but since the Canadiens missed the playoffs last season, I'm seriously considering doing it again.

I'm sorry, I don't mean that. I'm just angry... [sniff]
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Postby Matthew Field » 08/21/03 12:30 PM

Guilty as charged. No wonder the "ball" was so small.

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Postby Guest » 08/22/03 09:30 AM

Isn't Hockey pretty much soccer for people who can't grow grass?
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Postby Guest » 08/22/03 10:10 AM

The funny thing is that most people see to think that Hockey is the national sport of Canada when the truth is that it is Lacrose, a much harder, more violent game than hockey or football combined.

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Postby Richard Kaufman » 08/22/03 12:03 PM

The national sport of Canada is walking around and saying, "Eh?" after everything you hear. :)
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Postby Guest » 08/22/03 01:35 PM

Hockey (cold), soccer (depends) and basketball (warm)--yes basketball are pretty much all the same sport: continuous team movement of an object to be hurled into a goal (...move it down field and get it to the free (wo)man in front of the goal to score). Simple.

:cool:
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Postby Dustin Stinett » 08/22/03 08:06 PM

Oh yeah?! Well, thats better than Derek Lutzs (the character played by Robert Downey, Jr. in Back to School) apt description of football: "a violent ground-acquisition game like football is, in fact, a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war."

So there! :p

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Postby Brian Marks » 08/22/03 08:56 PM

David

Whats your mailing address? I am standing next to vending machine right now and I am badly need of a control.

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Postby David Acer » 08/24/03 06:23 PM

P.O. Box 1003, Stn H
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
H3G 2M9

And let me know if you're holding a break or not.
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Postby Jeff Eline » 08/24/03 06:31 PM

I just want to say that David's column this month was hysterical! The story with you and Richard Sanders doing a card trick for a television crew - funny stuff!!!! :)
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Postby David Acer » 08/25/03 08:13 AM

Thanks Jeff. Richard told me it still makes him mad when he thinks about it.
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Postby Guest » 08/25/03 10:48 AM

LaCrosse? Never heard of it. I thought the biggest game in Canada was Curling (I'm not kidding, I'm told that it's the biggest TV spectator sport).
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Postby Dustin Stinett » 08/25/03 10:57 AM

Steve,

Lacrosse: I think that's the game where the guys run around with sticks that have little wicker baskets on the end and beat each other silly. I think there's a little ball in there somewhere too.

Dustin
(At least the sticks in hockey have "blades" on the end - even sounds meaner!)
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Postby David Acer » 08/25/03 01:38 PM

Originally posted by Steve V':
LaCrosse? Never heard of it. I thought the biggest game in Canada was Curling.
Steve V
CURLING?!? Sweet Jesus, we have to get better public relations people. NO, curling is NOT the biggest game in Canada!!! AAAAAAARGH!!!
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Postby Guest » 08/25/03 02:24 PM

I gotta say that it truly is amazing what little some of our neighbors to the south know about us. Do most of you know who your next door neighbors are? Do you know the people in your vacinity? Why do so many Americans know so little abot their ext door neighbors, the ones with the undefended border?!?!?!

I have received questions from Americans coming up here as to whether or not they need "transformers" or "adapters" to use electrical devices (apparently tey were not aware of the power grid tat we all share), I have seen Americans arrive in July and expect to go skiing, and I have heard a Customs officer tell me that at least once a day an American tourist shows up without proper identification and yet says "I have every right to enter your Country, I am an American!". I have actually heard people in detroit ask Canadians if they get a lot of snow up there (go figure when they live across the water from them).

Amazing, simply amazing. And please, do not think I am slamming Americans as some of my closest friends are Americans, it is just that I truly do not understand how, when someone is so close to another Country, they can have absolutely no knowledge of it.

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Postby Dustin Stinett » 08/25/03 04:58 PM

Originally posted by Paul Alberstat:
...American tourist shows up without proper identification and yet says "I have every right to enter your Country, I am an American!"
That's pretty sad, but not at all surprising. It reminds me of a golf outing to Mexico I went on many years ago. We were all on the bus coming back into the US. The US border officer came on the bus and asked, "Who has their passport?" About four people raised their hands. He let them stay on the bus while the rest of us had to get off and go through a big long line (of course, the passport guys had to wait for us, but in the comfort of the bus). The border officer said that, while it's not necessary to have a passport while visiting Mexico, he wanted to teach us that one should always have it whenever one leaves the country.

Dustin
(Knows the words to "O Canada.")
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Postby Guest » 08/25/03 09:29 PM

Originally posted by DustinStinett:
(Knows the words to "O Canada.")
That's all fine and dandy... but what about our national anthem...

...saying "da duh da da daaaaaaa" to the tune of Hockey Night In Canada.

-Ryan Pilling
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Postby Steve V » 08/25/03 10:33 PM

I sing O Canada at the hockey games...then we applaud. Then we usually lose the game. We are nice like that here.
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Postby Lisa Cousins » 08/26/03 09:16 AM

Now, before the Canadian contingent gets too up in arms about this, it must be said that I was chatting with two Montreal magicians at SAM, and when I told them that I lived in New Mexico, they asked me how the exchange rate was, coming into Vegas.

"Oh, it was a pretty straightforward one-to-one."

[Important disclaimer: These magicians were not David Acer, in whole or in part.]

Actually, this error is far more excusable in Canadians than it is in Americans, who surely should have had to complete some type of label-all-the-states project by the sixth grade. Yet one of the local high school kids sent away for a college application kit, and was sent the international applicant packet. From an AMERICAN - yes, American - COLLEGE - yes, college!
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Postby Matthew Field » 08/26/03 01:19 PM

Originally posted by Lisa Cousins:
These magicians were not David Acer, in whole or in part
You're lucky. Some parts of Acer are pretty grim.

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Postby Dustin Stinett » 08/26/03 05:07 PM

Decorum precludes my asking just how it is you would know this.

Dustin
(Remains curious, however.)
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Postby Matthew Field » 08/27/03 02:20 PM

Dustin, I am a professional reviewer and am unable to reveal the sources of my knowledge.

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Postby David Acer » 08/27/03 04:54 PM

Let's just say I was drunk, Matt was drunk, and the whole thing was a bad idea from the first gentle caress...
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Postby Guest » 08/27/03 05:14 PM

What's all this about Canada? It's just that big state up north that caused some big blackout, isn't it?
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Postby Dustin Stinett » 08/27/03 05:34 PM

When did Ohio become a province of Canada? Boy, you learn something new everyday around here!

:D
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Postby Guest » 10/14/03 09:46 AM

Just a minor correction to Paul's post. Although for the longest time Lacrosse was Canada's national sport that has been changed.

In a political effort to offend no one and please everyone I found out:
Lacrosse is Canada's National Summer Sport
Hockey is Canada's National Winter Sport

Don't ask what happens in the Spring and Fall.

I will admit that yes, I did have to look that up.

I think you should all help me in my quest to get the Americans to adopt the Canadian Dollar.
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Postby Guest » 10/16/03 02:48 AM

And remember, we're not all sports fans.

In fact, some of us can't tell a football bat from a soccer rink.

Or something like that.

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Postby Guest » 10/16/03 09:02 PM

Hockey is bad for your health, especially your teeth. And it's a young man's game.

I have a book with an old picture of a young Canadian student named David Verner in an early-1900's hockey sweater. If he'd stuck with hockey, he would have had to retire before the Second World War.
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