Help with Limerick

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Postby Umpa Duze » 05/26/09 02:01 PM

Hi All,
I am presenting Sammy Smith's Super Frog as Frogdini the escape artist. I have designed the envelopes to represent a jail that Frogdini escapes from and a theater where he is to make his reappearance. To introduce the frog, I composed the following "limerick" (loosley defined). My problem is that I have run into a wall trying to come up with a good last line in the second verse. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

There once was a frog named Sammy
Lived with two brothers, pops and his mammy,
He developed a skill
Bending locks to his will,
Escaping from chains in Miami

Whether locked in chains, barrels, or crates,
He thrilled audiences with his great escapes,
He could escape anythingy
Just like his hero Houdini
And his audience grew larger in days

They would lock him real tight
Using all of their might
But soon hed slip free
As fast as can be
And thats why they called him Frogdini!

Thanks in advance,
Umpa
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Postby Jack Turk » 05/27/09 08:36 AM

Here's a couple suggestions:

"All sizes, all colors, all shapes!"

"Any time, any where, any place!"

"He thrilled crowds in every state!"

Check out www.rhymezone.com to get some other notions.

--Jack
"59 Ways to Recession Proof Your Entertainment Business -- FREE!"
http://GetLeadsLikeCrazy.com
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Postby Ian Kendall » 05/27/09 10:51 AM

To tighten the scansion, and borrow one of Jack's line, may I suggest:

When locked in chains, barrels or crates,
He thrilled crowds with amazing escapes,
he'd escape anythingy
like his hero Houdini,
Any time, any where, any place
Ian Kendall
 
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Postby Necromancer » 05/27/09 11:23 AM

Hi Umpa,

How does this work for you?

Best,
Neil

There once was a froggy named Sammy
Who startled his Poppy and Mammy:
He developed a skill
Bending locks to his will,
And soon was the talk of Miami.

Whether locked in chains, barrels, or crates,
He thrilled audiences with his escapes,
He'd evade any thingy
Like his hero, Houdini,
Leaving grownups with jawbones agape.

They would lock him in confines so teeny
That he'd feel like a bottled-up genii,
But in a moment or three
he would smoothly slip free --
And thats why they called him Frogdini!
Neil Tobin, Necromancer
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Postby opie » 05/27/09 11:34 AM

Try this one on for size:

A clever young frog known as Sammy
Lived with brothers, his pop and mammy;
He developed a skill
Bending locks to his will,
Escaping from things in Miami

Not a barrel, nor chain, nor a box
Could keep Sammy all bound up in locks.
And the danger and fear
Caused the crowds to come near
And the lines to see him stretched for blocks.

A rope tied on him like linguini
Was a joke, for just like Houdini,
He would simply slip free,
Much to everyone's glee,
And that's why they call him Frogdini.

Hope you like it; use it at will....

opie
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Postby Doc Dixon » 05/27/09 04:06 PM

There once was a girl who had an affair
With a boyfriend all covered with hair
She looked at his hat
And she realized that
She been had by Smokey the Bear

Sorry, got nothin' re: frogs.

Best,

DD
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Postby Umpa Duze » 05/27/09 07:39 PM

Hi All,
Thanks so much for the suggestions. I am not sure about Smokey, I could barely bear to read that one : ) Thanks to Jack for a great line and to Ian for helping me improve the second verse with it I also really liked "They would lock him in confines so teeny, That he'd feel like a bottled-up genii" great imagery. And Opie, Thanks to you as well. the lines "the danger and fear
Caused the crowds to come near" adds a little dramatic tension.

It is such a wonderful thing that this community is so willing to share.
Thanks again,
Umpa
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Location: Humboldt County CA

Postby opie » 05/27/09 09:51 PM

de nada, Amigo.....opie
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Postby Paul Amerson » 05/28/09 02:40 AM

Wow, Opie. You continually impress me.
Paul Amerson
http://www.TheBirthdayPartyPro.com
http://www.RCPmagic.com
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Postby opie » 05/28/09 08:03 AM

Thank you Paul....I live to serve.....opie
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