Free copy of Roy Benson by Starlight contest

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 14th, 2006, 10:42 pm

. . .That Teller is going on a speaking tour to remind us what it is about.

. . .That P&T are debunking the rumors of its imminent release on "Bulls***".

. . . That David Blaine's next stunt is to hold his breath till Starlight comes out.

. . . That Tony Giorgio writes about hustlers from the 1930's who remember when "Starlight" was first announced.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 15th, 2006, 5:54 am

RBBS is so late that...

...It's being delivered by flying pigs.

...It missed the Mad Tea Party.
(These jokes are getting curiouser and curiouser).

...Continental Airlines wants to use it as a scheduling benchmark.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 15th, 2006, 6:39 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

...a more timely book titled, "Modern Magic", by an upstart named Hoffman is now taking the magic community by storm.

Joe Z.

Larry Horowitz · Postby **Larry Horowitz** » May 15th, 2006, 12:26 pm

The Roy Benson by Starlight book is so late that Charles Manson is worried he won't have time to read it.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 15th, 2006, 1:29 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that Levent's Rabbit died.

Jim Maloney_dup1 · Postby **Jim Maloney_dup1** » May 15th, 2006, 2:05 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is SO late that...

Have you seen me?

-Jim

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 15th, 2006, 3:43 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that the first page has become hotel president.

Richard Perrin · Postby **Richard Perrin** » May 15th, 2006, 3:49 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is SO late that...

A blind printer use an ink same color as the paper to print on.

Those printers had to figure how to make those printers to run with a magic word.

ISBN are needed to add!

Blonde lady forgot to plug in the printer!

Keith Barry ripped page 185 by mistake!

Printer wave magic wand to make water into ink (had to read the instruction over and over and over and...)

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 15th, 2006, 4:30 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...
It is now considered a classic and is read by english majors along with Chaucer and Beowolf. It appears to have been started in the Kaufmannian era, and can best, in fact, only, be understood if accompanied with the Ortiz annotations. It contains such classics as the Penson Powl, which must have been quite popular in its day, only no one now knows what a Penson Powl might have been.
Mark

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 15th, 2006, 10:20 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late...
...that Ted Karmilovich is asking what's up with the delay.
...that the only way to guarantee delivery is to enroll in a cryogenics program!
...that the United States Post Office is thinking of making Todd Karr the employee of the century!
...that you would literally need a time machine to take you ten thousand years into the future just so you only have to wait a week for it to be delivered.
...that Randi will be debunking its existence.
...that when it finally gets delivered the President will be the little boy from Two and a Half Men.
...that by then humans will no longer need to read and we will just hold the book to our heads and sense the information;sadly we will fine there are dozens of typos, grammatical errors and ten pages misssing.
...that Todd Karr will be dissed by Valentino.
...that they will have to add references to it in the sequel to the DaVinci Code.
...that Paris Hilton will become a nun.
...that most people would rather see Gigli 2 then wait this long.
... that movie playing at the time will be Harry Potter and the Broken Hip.
...that the only way to contact one of the future readers of this book is by using John Edwards.
...that they're deciding to just print one and pass it from reader to reader because that will be a faster process.
...that to past the time everyone who ordered it will get a video of paint drying and grass growing.
...that CBS is doing a Survivor show of people waiting for the book.
...that Tom Cruise will be sane by the time it comes out.
...that Jay Sankey actually runs out of material before it comes out.
...that it would easier to get it via smoke signals.
...that boy scouts get a badge for just waiting for it.
...that Todd Karr has to dye his hair and get a sex change just to hide from the backlash.
...that it's actually a clue in a New York Times crossword puzzle.
...that most people who get it will have to have it read to them by their caregivers.

Greg

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 12:15 am

"Roy Benson by Starlight" is SO late...

That I can't wait to unroll it.

You try not to think about the UPS shipping charge on 800 stone tablets.

That Todd was made the new director of FEMA.

That each copy will include a free cuneiform-to-English dictionary.

That Todd has decided to refund any pre-orders paid with denarii.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 3:58 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

... it only came when Gabriel called.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 4:59 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is SO late that...
Ron Bauer will finish his Private Studies series first!

Jim Maloney_dup1 · Postby **Jim Maloney_dup1** » May 16th, 2006, 6:50 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is SO late that...

..."Levent" is really just a pseudonym for "an infinite number of monkeys."

Next up from The Miracle Factory: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

-Jim

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 8:41 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that. . .

It is now known as "The Book That Time Forgot".

It comes with its own Rosetta Stone

Its replaced Kong as the Eighth Wonder of the World.

That Alice chased it down the rabbit hole instead.

It will be absolutely perfect when it arrives.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 8:54 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

...Its arrival and delay are depicted various times on the Aztec calendar.

It's so late that it got fired.

It's so late that the client list was submitted to the AARP.

Pete Biro · Postby **Pete Biro** » May 16th, 2006, 9:29 am

Been out of communication, and am so late to this thread that everyone has already said what I would have said :eek:

Although if I were to say something, it might be...

The Postage to ship it has gone up to be more than the cost of the book. :D

Glenn Farrington · Postby **Glenn Farrington** » May 16th, 2006, 10:13 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

The cost of the book is less than the price of gas.

Oh, wait a minute...that would be now.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 10:57 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

...It's shipping by Nina, Pinta & Sta. Maria.

...It's packaged in formaldehyde.

...The word 'copyright' has been replaced by 'vintage'.

...In the fall, clocks AND calendars will be turned back.

...It's neither healthy, wealthy nor wise.

Brad Henderson · Postby **Brad Henderson** » May 16th, 2006, 11:35 am

Roy Benson is so late, Todd's family name is now Landspeeder.

Roy Benson is so late, you need the mark of the beast to buy it.

Roy Benson is so late, we refer to the Bush admninistation as "the good ole' days."

Brad Henderson

Jim Maloney_dup1 · Postby **Jim Maloney_dup1** » May 16th, 2006, 11:58 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is SO late that...

...things are just now starting to thaw out in Hell.

... Babe finally got his pilot's license.

-Jim

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 12:41 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is SO late that...

the fat lady ran out of songs to sing....

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 1:06 pm

Its so late that by the time it arrives the number of pages in this thread will have surpassed the number of pages in the book.

Geno Munari · Postby **Geno Munari** » May 16th, 2006, 3:29 pm

It is so late.....

That this is a great way to get some good lines!

Richard Kaufman · Postby **Richard Kaufman** » May 16th, 2006, 4:09 pm

I would say that any thread that has generated almost 150 responses in so little time has been great FREE publicity for the publisher! :)

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 4:11 pm

Roy benson by Starlight is so late

.....that Todd had time to develop this ingenious way of getting everybody to talk about the book.

.....that it needs to be translated into Spanish as this is the official language after the borders collapsed.

.....that even the people who ordered and paid for it forgot about it.

.....that the late Bill Larsen tipps his hat.

......that the IRS has classified it as a tax free collectable

NCMarsh · Postby **NCMarsh** » May 16th, 2006, 4:11 pm

The Benson book is soooooooo late:
...customers who live in what was once "California," now reside underwater.

...on the day of its delivery, Haley Joel Osment is starring as King Lear

...by the time it is delivered, the arctic is a tropical resort area

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 4:13 pm

"Roy Benson by Starlight is SO late that...

each book must now be delivered to the next of Kin.

Now, THAT'S funny :)
Thanks Glenn,
Ted (LEondo)

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 4:30 pm

it is so late that......

Kaufman will complete the Larry Jennings trilogy before you get your copy of Roy Benson!

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 4:59 pm

It is so late that....

- Brittney Spears has more kids than the population of China.

- The troops are withdrawn from
Iraq.

- Hall of fame inductee, Pete Rose...(insert your own finish here.)

- O.J. finds the "real killer".

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 5:29 pm

Dubai - October 6, 2025;
Long sought after magic book publisher Todd Karr has been located at his exclusive "Palms" resort abode here in Dubai by an international team of secret agents. This concludes a 19 year search for the mastermind in the magic book publishing industry. Karr, who was at one time known for publishing quality texts on subjects of interest to magicians, absconded with the millions he collected in presales for the eagerly awaited book entitled "Roy Benson by Starlight". The book proved to be a myth generated to fleece thousands of magicians from all corners of the world out of their hard earned cash. With his ill gotten millions, Karr financed the purchase of the Dubai resort home and three others in exotic locations around the world. The magic world is very much shaken by this news as the members of the various secret magicians' societies had always been told that there was no money in publishing magic books. Elderly Richard Kaufman, a former magic book publisher, is said to have been taken to the hospital after hearing and reacting to the news of Karr's capture. Apparently, there are still magicians awaiting delivery of the never published text. After interviewing several magicians, it appears that some people still believe in magic.

The alleged swindler, Karr, continues to deny any wrongdoings. More as this case with its many twists unfolds in the international courts.

Live from Dubai - James P. Riser, retired designer/maker of apparatus for magicians

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 16th, 2006, 6:28 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

...It was referenced by Reginald Scott.

...The cast from lost was found.

...It's become required reading for morticians.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 17th, 2006, 6:25 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

...It set of an Amber Alert.

...It made The Late Show's Top 10.

...The book's intro begins with, 'Dearly beloved..'

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 17th, 2006, 6:34 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that...

...the Amazing Randi has designated it an urban legend.

Joe Z.

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 17th, 2006, 7:47 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that I thought "maybe Teller wrote it"!

Pete Biro · Postby **Pete Biro** » May 17th, 2006, 9:00 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that ...

... NONE of the references in this thread make sense anymore :cool:

Pete Biro · Postby **Pete Biro** » May 17th, 2006, 9:01 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that

... the nursing home took delivery of it... too late for me... :(

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 17th, 2006, 10:58 am

Roy Benson by Starlight is so late that -

- you'll get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome scrolling the length of this thread...

Guest · Postby **Guest** » May 17th, 2006, 3:55 pm

Roy Benson by Starlight is SO LATE that .....

...all the stars have burned out;

...Haley's Comet has stopped coming around;

...we have solved the mysteries of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Moster, UFOs, who shot JFK, and we found Jimmy Hoffa;

... the Amazing Johnathan has found religion and is now known as Pope AJ the First!!

Pete Biro · Postby **Pete Biro** » May 17th, 2006, 4:19 pm

... and Penn is a Cardinal?