Debbie McGee on Life Without Paul
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Richard Kaufman
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Debbie McGee on Life Without Paul
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erdnasephile
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Re: Debbie McGee on Life Without Paul
So terribly sad.
I think the last line from the article is so true: ‘With grief you need to give yourself time to get to the end of the tunnel. I have to believe I will, but Paul will always be a part of whatever I do on my own."
Unfortunately in my experience, sometimes well-meaning but misguided folks don't give us that time and instead try to force us along at THEIR pace. Hopefully, Ms. Daniel's friends will be very patient and understanding to help her eventually reach the point where the "good" days finally begin to outnumber the "bad".
I think the last line from the article is so true: ‘With grief you need to give yourself time to get to the end of the tunnel. I have to believe I will, but Paul will always be a part of whatever I do on my own."
Unfortunately in my experience, sometimes well-meaning but misguided folks don't give us that time and instead try to force us along at THEIR pace. Hopefully, Ms. Daniel's friends will be very patient and understanding to help her eventually reach the point where the "good" days finally begin to outnumber the "bad".
Re: Debbie McGee on Life Without Paul
I knew Paul slightly but I only met Debbie once. It is very hard to lose someone who has been your partner for a very long time. The first year is the worst. It never heals completely but the pain lessens gradually after that first year slowly little by little.
She should keep busy. There is an old saying, "you must lose yourself in action lest you wither in despair". It is when you are sitting around doing nothing that the demons of sadness and memories of the past start to call.
Of course from a metaphysical point of view Paul will always be there. Somebody can be in the next room. You can't see them but you know they are there. Paul will always be there and look in on her from time to time. She will feel his presence.
A less metaphysical way of handling things is to keep busy. Very busy. As actively busy as possible. There is an old saying, "you must lose yourself in action lest you wither in despair". It is when you are sitting around doing nothing that the demons of sadness and memories of the past start to call.
You can read a very interesting book and get to a very interesting page. But you can't keep reading the same page and eventually you have to turn the page. And she will turn the page when she is ready.
There is a famous prayer that can be helpful
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference"
Although this is wise and profound I far prefer the more light hearted and somewhat frivolous version which means exactly the same thing:
"For every ailment under the sun
there is a remedy or there is none
if there be one, try to find it
if there be none, then never mind it"
She should keep busy. There is an old saying, "you must lose yourself in action lest you wither in despair". It is when you are sitting around doing nothing that the demons of sadness and memories of the past start to call.
Of course from a metaphysical point of view Paul will always be there. Somebody can be in the next room. You can't see them but you know they are there. Paul will always be there and look in on her from time to time. She will feel his presence.
A less metaphysical way of handling things is to keep busy. Very busy. As actively busy as possible. There is an old saying, "you must lose yourself in action lest you wither in despair". It is when you are sitting around doing nothing that the demons of sadness and memories of the past start to call.
You can read a very interesting book and get to a very interesting page. But you can't keep reading the same page and eventually you have to turn the page. And she will turn the page when she is ready.
There is a famous prayer that can be helpful
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference"
Although this is wise and profound I far prefer the more light hearted and somewhat frivolous version which means exactly the same thing:
"For every ailment under the sun
there is a remedy or there is none
if there be one, try to find it
if there be none, then never mind it"