John Edward's "Crossing Over"

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Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 1:44 pm

As for Mr Brennan I see he is losing his temper. Always a sign of someone losing an argument. No matter. He will soon be running to his mother for consolation when I am finished with him.>>>

Not much of a "psychic" if he thinks I'm a "Mr."

Nice try, Lambchop!

D

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 2:06 pm

Barton,

I'd be happy to pay you for an actual psychic reading. Please let me know how we can arrange this transaction.

I'm a little surprised to find an actual psychic hanging out here at a magic message-board. It's kind of like someone with x-ray vision spending time hanging out at LensCrafters message board. I'm not sure what you have to gain, especially when you've indicated what a busy guy you are.

Anyway, let me know how we can arrange this transaction.

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 2:16 pm

Lights, I have to warn you, Barton is a mediocre psychic, at best. Barton missed a 50/50 guess as to whether I am male or female.

I honestly can't recommend Barton's services. In fact, you'd get better advice from a coin toss or magic 8 ball.

P&L
D

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 2:25 pm

Please, Dee, your negative energy is going to ruin my psychic reading.

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 2:31 pm

HEY! I just re-aligned my Chakras....

D

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 2:34 pm

I see that Madam Brennan is still smarting from being reprimanded.It appears that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.And I appear to have scorned her.

I knew perfectly well that she was female but I have found that in New York the men are more like women and the women are more like men so it gets a trifle confusing sometimes. Since she wanted to come across as an agressive male I thought I should indulge her.

But let me turn my attention to Lights Out. Ah! That is much more like it! However I have reviewed his (or her if she is from New York) posting history and am not sure if he comes up to the required standard. I do not mind sceptics having readings and in fact I prefer them. However rabid sceptics are a special case since they are terribly closed minded and even if I produced 3 tons of ectoplasm out of his right ear he would still denounce it as fraudulent.

I do get a vibe already that he has malevolent intentions and wishes to debunk my reading to all and sundry. However I do not mind in the slightest. Regrettably however I do have to charge a debunking fee of $100. The charge for the reading will be $100 plus the debunking fee of $100. There are no refunds for disappointed clients. Payment in advance please.

I do not wish to travel to New York since it seems to be a most heathenly place full of unbelievers. However I will do so if my expenses are paid in advance. And the reading fee will go up to a grand. Again payable in advance before I get on the plane.

If this is not suitable and Lights Out is a bit short of funds I shall do a postal taped reading instead. It lasts 30 minutes only and is somewhat cheaper than Sylvia Browne. A mere $200 including the debunking fee.

There. I do hope Craig feels encouraged by my support and admires my marketing ability. I see nobody offered him a dime.

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 4:14 pm

Apparently Chicago really IS the windy city (rimshot).

I repeat, :sleep: honk-shoo

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 4:23 pm

I see that Madam Brennan>>>

I'm neither married, nor do I run a brothel. You're oh-for-two, Lambchop.

Tell you what, I'll pay $1,(US, not Canadian,) for the reading, and two-bits for the de-bunking fee.

D

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Richard Kaufman
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Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Richard Kaufman » April 17th, 2007, 4:30 pm

I have my doubts that Ms. Brennan is a woman. :)
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Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 4:33 pm

Hee hee!
I guessed it was Madamoiselle--YES! --a DIRECT HIT!!

I've claimed no super-natural powers up to this point...But now I realize I see things that ordinary...humans...just...don't...see :eek:

P.S. Forgot to comment on the "In NY women look like men and men like women", or whatever that dudes joke was, but wanted to say that was some fresh comedy gold.

User avatar
Richard Kaufman
Posts: 27047
Joined: July 18th, 2001, 12:00 pm
Favorite Magician: Theodore DeLand
Location: Washington DC
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Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Richard Kaufman » April 17th, 2007, 4:45 pm

Barton gave us a fake e-mail address, so he's been deleted.
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Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 5:08 pm

Richard: You're [censored]'-us, right? (Whew!) Dude, seriously that guy gave me a totally uncomfortable vibe--like, I knew something was up the first moment he logged-on. I swear, at that molment I felt a cold wind.

YES!! ANOTHER DIRECT HIT!!
This extreme success can't be attributed to dumb-luck, and how I wish it could be.

OH Cruel-Fate!! It is now clear I have the power I have so long scorned and mocked. --That I must walk among society, knowing, as as I pass each person on the street, every detail of their lives, and how those lives are going to play out...

That's gotta PAY!!

Screw all y'all: I'm a freaking psychic, starting NOW!

Yes that line forms, on the left babe, now that Davey's....readin' minds!
Sorry, no bills smaller than 100s.
Don't forget to have your photo taken by the wishing well before you go! We can have it "magically" put onto a t-shirt, a mug, or a shot glass!

User avatar
Richard Kaufman
Posts: 27047
Joined: July 18th, 2001, 12:00 pm
Favorite Magician: Theodore DeLand
Location: Washington DC
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Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Richard Kaufman » April 17th, 2007, 5:34 pm

Barton took my bate and responded to me privately: he was MARK LEWIS, as I surmised.
Caught again!
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Richard Kaufman
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Joined: July 18th, 2001, 12:00 pm
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Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Richard Kaufman » April 17th, 2007, 5:36 pm

The only things you need to be a fake psychic (and ALL psychics are fake) are:

1) The desire to bilk people out of money

2) No conscience

3) An ability to [censored] like there's no tomorrow
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Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 7:44 pm

Richard, how dare you.

By the way, I want to personally thank Craig Browning and his fellow psychics for helping us avert tragedy yesterday. Their incredible power allowed them to foresee what could have been a horrible event. And thanks to their very real power we didn't lose numerous young lives to a senseless tragedy. On behalf of the parents and loved ones of all those lives you saved, let me say "thank you."

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 7:46 pm

Well, this is awkward. I just checked the news and it looks like I was mistaken. Apparently not a single psychic knew what was going to happen yesterday at Virginia Tech. Oh, I'm sure in the coming weeks some will say they did, but if they had an inkling of what was to come why weren't they standing in the middle of the campus screaming at people to stay inside, lock their doors, stay safe? You would think that's what anyone with an inkling of decency would have done.

I know what you're saying Mr. Browning. "It doesn't work that way." No. That sentence is too long; it just plain doesn't work. If you want to live in your fantasy world and sit around trying to guess where widows misplaced their wedding ring, knock yourself out. But don't come here and say that we have to play along with your make-believe or else we're closed-minded.

I don't believe in voodoo.
I don't believe in leprechauns.
I don't believe in ghosts.
And I don't believe in your [censored].

You're either a lying A-hole or or you're completely delusional. Either way, you're a d*****bag.

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 7:54 pm

Ah HA! I said it was Mark Lewis. Uh, I mean, I intuited it was Mark Lewis and said so! I even told him I wasn't going to pay him in Canadian money.

I am SOOO psychic, the Men in Black are probably pulling up in front of my apartment building right this very minute!

Someone call Randi, get him in here, show him the TIME STAMPED POSTS and show me the money, BAY-BEE!

D
Intuitive.

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 7:57 pm

BTW, Richard, I never gave an indication of my gender to Mark. I simply refused to confirm or deny.

Granted, I told him he was oh-for-two, but I didn't say regarding WHAT.

D
You'd think a psychic would be harder to fool...

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 10:10 pm

I am afraid that you do not understand psychic ability. If I knew everything I COULD predict the Lotto. However that is NOT what psychic ability is for and is not the way it works. I have suggested in the past that sceptics define what they mean by "psychic". They never seem to be able to do so.

My definition is a trifle less spectacular and ludicrous than other psychic people. I would merely call it heightened intuition. When you do this kind of work you become very sharp indeed. The psychic stuff happens at a deep subconcious level and there is nothing whatever mysterious about it. We all have it but naturally someone who does it all the time has sharpened skills. I believe I know why it works too.

If someone sits down in front of me I know all about them within seconds without them saying a word. In fact I prefer them not to speak since I like the sound of my own voice and I know perfectly well if they start yapping to me I will never get rid of them.

Now how do I do this? I sense things. And 70% of the time I am correct. You can't expect 100%. This is not an exact science like mathematics.

And how do I sense things? At first I was not entirely sure but now I believe I know what is going on. It is all perfectly simple.

Things happen at a subliminal level. Let us assume someone comes into me ten years previously. That person has marital problems. They have a relative who is ill. They also have money problems. They work say in the legal profession.

In the reading they will manifest certain signs and behaviours. I will have no idea what they are. And it is a very hard thing to explain. It is more than body language although no doubt that is part of it. They will have a certain look and there will be a certain feel for the situation.

Over the next 10 years the psychic will see hundreds of different clients but they will all have variations of the same problems. In actual fact there are very few scenarios. Most people come because of love problems and there are only a few situations that come up all the time. Same with money. Health issues and work issues. There are probably no more than about 20 or so different scenarios that come up all the time. I haven't counted them but that is my estimate.

Now here is the interesting thing. Each person will manifest the same signs, micro expressions and body language that people in similar situations will do. Again and again and again. The psychic doesn't have to study these indications. Indeed most psychics may not even be aware of them. However they will pick them up subliminally and not even know that they are doing so.

So ten years later a similar client to the one the psychic saw 10 years ago comes in with an identical set of problems. Or at least some of the same problems. He or she will also give off the same indications that someone did 10 years ago. Psychics who are not as brilliant as myself will delude themselves that because they know the chap is a lawyer, has marital problems and money troubles they will assume that God has given them great and wondrous powers that are not available to the rest of humanity.

They do not realise why they know what they know. I believe that through having done thousands upon thousands of readings they are picking up on subliminal signs that are the same every time. So they call themselves psychic.

I do believe 100% in the Tarot cards. Not because I believe they have certain supernatural powers embedded in them. I do not believe in Jung's theory of synchronicity even if I knew what the hell it was. I believe that the cards come up at random. However for very logical reasons which I do not have the energy to explain they WILL help the psychic to tune in to the client's life. They simply help the intuition process that I have already explained.

I can always tell if a lawyer is sitting in front of me. It happens very rarely but when it does I always know it. I know when a journalist or nurse is sitting in front of me. I know when I have a businessman. I know when I have a cop coming in for a reading (much more common than you might think)

How do I know? Pure intuition and experience. Not psychic you may say? I don't care what you call it as long as the client pays. The sceptics don't pay my rent so their opinion doesn't really matter. I am only coming on here to amuse myself. Irritating people is a hobby of mine.

What I am talking about is nothing whatever to do with Sylvia Browne or the claptrap that TV mediums come out with. I am not into guessing games the way they are. I am not a psychic medium and I do not contact dead people.

I do know when a close friend or relative of my client has passed away because this certainly fits into the limited scenarios that comes up as I explained earlier. And I sense the signs of it even though I have never bothered to analyse what those signs are. I just know. However I never contact the person because I know perfectly well that I can't.

Many psychics are sincere people who unfortunately are hampered by belief. That is why they get some things right and some things wrong. Luckily for them most people forget the wrong things and concentrate on the right.

There are very few outright frauds in the psychic business except of course some of the TV mediums and the gypsy type psychics. However there are indeed gifted people who do not understand where their power comes from and consequently are prone to deluding themselves as to what is going on.

I must emphasise that I never try to analyse how people are reacting. I barely look at the client. I am concentrating on their palm or the tarot cards. I pick up their reactions at a subliminal level. It is interesting to note that the more tired I am the more accurate the readings are. That is because the logical analytical part of mind closes down and the "psychic" part (for want of a better word) sharpens up.

There. Now you know what it is all about. JR

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 17th, 2007, 10:36 pm

hmmm.. The previous post seems to be exhibiting signs of mediumship to me.

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 18th, 2007, 5:51 am

Jolly roger Wrote>>>How do I know? Pure intuition and experience. Not psychic you may say? I don't care what you call it as long as the client pays.>>>

Arrrgh, matey! There's the rub. THEY think it's psychic because you call yourself a "psychic", or "reader" or whatever mumbo-jumbo title you work under. If you called yourself "An Experienced, Sherlock Holmes-esque Oberver-of-Generalities" they wouldn't be interested, now would they, you fraud?

>>>The sceptics don't pay my rent so their opinion doesn't really matter.>>>

"Sceptics"???? Hmmmm, I'm getting a vision....

>>>I am only coming on here to amuse myself. Irritating people is a hobby of mine.>>>

Oh.....Hi Mark!

LOOKEE! I've been PSYCHIC two days in a row!

I ROCK!

Randi, cough it up.

P&L
D

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 18th, 2007, 6:05 am

regarding my predictions...

A massive system wide failure of the BlackBerry network has brought emails to a halt for user's of the handheld communication devices Wednesday morning, according to a report from a New York TV news channel. Their stock is down.

A hit! A palpable hit! This is WAY closer than Craig's volcano. One down, two to go.

P&L
D

Guest

Re: John Edward's "Crossing Over"

Postby Guest » April 18th, 2007, 6:10 am

YES!

Annika Sorenstam withdrew from the Ginn Open because of a ruptured disk in her back that will keep her from playing on the LPGA Tour for at least a month.

Back/leg...WAY closer than a volcano, and Sorenstam HAS played in PGA events, so don't even try to pull the "She's in the LPGA, not the PGA" card.

Two-for-two.

C'mon, Cryptozoology!

P&L
D


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